Reviews

• I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

  I said "Somebody should do something about that. Then I realized I am somebody.

  Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

  ~ Lily Tomlin

• Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

  An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

  The happiest and most contented people are those who each day perform to make the best of their abilities.

  ~ Bill Vaughan

• I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

  People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

  ~ Elayne Boosler